A common theme in my clinical work as a psychotherapist over 33 years, is how people struggle with managing difficult emotions. We are rarely taught how to be with our emotional pain and suffering. Given that Life tends to serve up its fair share of disappointments, tragedies and plain old ‘unfairness’, it is helpful to
I am reading a book currently, called ‘ Fight like a Girl ‘ a memoir by Clementine Ford. She quotes a woman called Caitlin Moran who suggests the following exercise ….. Put your hand in your pants. Do you have a vagina ? and Do you want to be in charge of it? If you
I have just spoken out publicly about being sexually abused by James K Baxter, a famous poet and literary figure in New Zealand. It was published in a weekend journal, circulated by three major newspapers in three major cities in New Zealand a fortnight ago. I have been very pleased with wonderful responses from men
Growing older is difficult. At least that was the message communicated to me by my mother. She had a miserable time of it and that memory still remains within me. I am trying not to resist the ageing process and to honour the wise, spirited and attractive woman that I know I am. A little
Sometimes I feel embarrassed at not being sufficiently happy. The other day a friend sent me an article written by someone who described how he had attained happiness. He had some good ideas like keeping a gratitude journal every day. He spoke about how this had improved his mood. However, I also felt told off
I am just an ordinary woman who longs for connection, love and warmth with another. I have been trying to not feel ashamed of this fact, in the face of meeting many single women my age who say they don’t need an intimate love relationship anymore. Sure, I can hold my hand, be a good
Last night I was having dinner with a friend and talking about sadness. I was telling her how sad I often feel in our society which is obsessed with the notion of happiness. It was a lovely experience to sit with her, talk about my sadness and not experience any pressure from her to be
What does it mean to be courageous? Some words the dictionary uses are brave, bold, daring, gallant, gritty, mettle, nerve, lion-hearted and valiant. I have been planning to write about courage for some time. However, I seem to keep putting it off. Perhaps I am trying to find the courage to write about courage. In
Today, I recalled a beautiful piece of writing, “The Invitation” by Oriah Mountain Dreamer. Someone at my workplace reminded me of it. I had read the piece years ago and re-reading and hearing it again strengthened me. Here is an extract that particularly touches me. “It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if
Today I have been thinking about what a friend recently said. She had wanted to speak the truth about the doubts she had about her relationship with her partner. Instead, she was silenced from doing so due to feelings of obligation towards him. This is not a live-in relationship. It has left me thinking that
Professionally I have 33 years experience as a Clinician, Lecturer, Group Facilitator, Educator and Supervisor in Education, Social Services and Mental Health. I currently live in Melbourne, Australia and work in Mental Health. I have a particular interest in supporting and empowering women and men to be all they can be, by assisting the discovery of tools that help them find strength to transform difficulties into opportunities, enriching their lives both personally and professionally. I am a New Zealand Registered Psychotherapist with PBANZ, member of the New Zealand Association of Psychotherapists and have a Masters of Health Science (Psychotherapy) First Class Honours. My research thesis was about the long term consequences of intimate partner violence for women. I am influenced and informed by both my professional experiences and my own personal journey, which has involved many challenges and celebrations along the way.