I have been ‘uncoupled’ now for six years. Over these last six years, I have been on some dates, had a few casual liaisons, but essentially remained ‘uncoupled.’ I am sixty-nine years old and it is the longest I have been single in my adult life. I have been married twice, had two other significant
It’s been an especially tough six weeks ! Apart from the eternally long lockdown situation here in Melbourne exhausting us all, plus a demanding job in mental health in essential services, my normally peaceful home environment has now been disturbed into nightmarish proportions. Not only is noisy construction work going on right outside my bedroom
Here we are in our sixth lockdown in Melbourne, since early 2020. Sydney is in crisis, with the whole state now in lockdown. A friend in Melbourne described to me yesterday …. “I have no words any more to say how I feel.” So I thought I would try to find some for me, in
Leila Abduallah, the mother who tragically lost her children when a drugged driver mounted the footpath and ran over her three children and their cousin early last year, has recently been awarded the Mother of the Year award. One can only imagine her grief and that of her family. Much has been made of her
Some weeks ago, walking home after an excellent massage with my Myotherapist, a persistent thought rose up within me .. “I value myself now”. I kept repeating this phrase to myself as I walked. It has taken me all this time to truly, really value my self. I turned sixty-nine years old the other day
A common theme in my clinical work as a psychotherapist over 33 years, is how people struggle with managing difficult emotions. We are rarely taught how to be with our emotional pain and suffering. Given that Life tends to serve up its fair share of disappointments, tragedies and plain old ‘unfairness’, it is helpful to
I am reading a book currently, called ‘ Fight like a Girl ‘ a memoir by Clementine Ford. She quotes a woman called Caitlin Moran who suggests the following exercise ….. Put your hand in your pants. Do you have a vagina ? and Do you want to be in charge of it? If you
I have just spoken out publicly about being sexually abused by James K Baxter, a famous poet and literary figure in New Zealand. It was published in a weekend journal, circulated by three major newspapers in three major cities in New Zealand a fortnight ago. I have been very pleased with wonderful responses from men
Growing older is difficult. At least that was the message communicated to me by my mother. She had a miserable time of it and that memory still remains within me. I am trying not to resist the ageing process and to honour the wise, spirited and attractive woman that I know I am. A little
Sometimes I feel embarrassed at not being sufficiently happy. The other day a friend sent me an article written by someone who described how he had attained happiness. He had some good ideas like keeping a gratitude journal every day. He spoke about how this had improved his mood. However, I also felt told off
Professionally I have 33 years experience as a Clinician, Lecturer, Group Facilitator, Educator and Supervisor in Education, Social Services and Mental Health. I currently live in Melbourne, Australia and work in Mental Health. I have a particular interest in supporting and empowering women and men to be all they can be, by assisting the discovery of tools that help them find strength to transform difficulties into opportunities, enriching their lives both personally and professionally. I am a New Zealand Registered Psychotherapist with PBANZ, member of the New Zealand Association of Psychotherapists and have a Masters of Health Science (Psychotherapy) First Class Honours. My research thesis was about the long term consequences of intimate partner violence for women. I am influenced and informed by both my professional experiences and my own personal journey, which has involved many challenges and celebrations along the way.