Confronted


I was walking to my writer’s group this afternoon in busy Melbourne city when an aboriginal woman, indigenous to this land, came alongside me and asked me for some small change. I was flustered, didn’t know what to say, muttered that I didn’t have any, she pleaded with me, said she needed something to eat, said “please Mama”. I walked on feeling confused and guilty. I decided that I wanted to go back, find her and give her some money. I changed ten dollars into 2 five dollar notes and went to look for her. She had disappeared! I felt disappointed.

Did I need to appease my guilt about the homeless? Did I need to assuage my guilt about this indigenous woman in her land having to beg?

I wanted to do something to help, but I could not bring myself to respond straight away, then I missed the opportunity. I have no idea what she would have spent the money on food, alcohol, drugs?

My mind fills with all the things people here in Melbourne say about their homeless. Give money to the mission, buy the ‘Big Issue’ magazine whose proceeds go the homeless, buy them a coffee, buy food and give that instead of money. No matter, I continue to be confronted within myself about the plight of the homeless, yet have not worked out what I want my response to be when someone like this woman approaches me. An indigenous woman at that, who called me Mama. I thought about how humiliating it must be for her, an indigenous woman, to beg from me a white woman. I felt sad.

Some would say that I overthink and feel too much.

rosmlewis

Clinician, Lecturer, Group Facilitator, Educator and Supervisor in Education, Social Services and Mental Health.

You may also like

LEAVE A COMMENT

Newsletter

Sign-up now for the amiworthit.com newsletter and get advice on how to say a resounding YES to the question "am I worth it?"

About me

Rosalind Lewis

Rosalind Lewis

Professionally I have 33 years experience as a Clinician, Lecturer, Group Facilitator, Educator and Supervisor in Education, Social Services and Mental Health. I currently live in Melbourne, Australia and work in Mental Health. I have a particular interest in supporting and empowering women and men to be all they can be, by assisting the discovery of tools that help them find strength to transform difficulties into opportunities, enriching their lives both personally and professionally. I am a New Zealand Registered Psychotherapist with PBANZ, member of the New Zealand Association of Psychotherapists and have a Masters of Health Science (Psychotherapy) First Class Honours. My research thesis was about the long term consequences of intimate partner violence for women. I am influenced and informed by both my professional experiences and my own personal journey, which has involved many challenges and celebrations along the way.